shtorytime

So, I'm trying to get citizenship. But apparently there's only one oke in the whole of the Cape who does the fingerprint jobs of this magnitude, and he's just randomly taken a holiday, which totally does not work for anyone because now his desk has a stack of fingerprint docs about the size of the Chrysler Building waiting for him. Enjoy, sucker!

Damn you, Home Affairs...

A funny thought

I find it very amusing to know that computer gaming is going from strength to strength in terms of technology, development, realism, innovation, and so on.

Which brings us the following:

But the greatest computer game ever created during human history still has no physics, no weapons, and next to no graphics. Do yourself a favour and go play it with your friends this first week back at school before the work takes over. It will be one of the most social experiences you can ever have :) and you'll bond with your friends like never before!

Ivanhoe

by Sir Walter Scott.

Ha, it's been an awfully long time since I've read a book anything of this sort, seeing as it was written in 1820 about the Middle Ages, and so it's basically written in Shakespearean tongue, but obviously prose instead of poetry. Not devoid of the expected descriptive passages and curious copy flow, it's also a riveting tale of (you guessed it) chivalry, action, and otherwise knight-vaabs. Indeed the story is extremely well crafted, and although predictable at times it still manages bombshells, but it does so in a very undramatic way compared to modern novels.

Sir Wilfred of Ivanhoe, as the blurb tells us, has been disinherited by his father and needs to fight for his love Rowena's affections. But that's not really true, because while he does indeed do that in the story, it's a bit misleading... the action isn't centered around him at all, and in fact you're a third of the way through the book before he is first encountered. Switching indiscriminately between all the "good" guys and sometimes bad guys too, the narrative follows several paths which intertwine, meet, separate, and sometimes fall back in the timeline to catch up on different events, making on the whole for very exciting reading.

Looking at the language and descriptions in a different light, one can also find some humour in the way it's written, especially moments like the greatest friendzone of all time (see below), and just the way they tune each other, much like in Star Wars! It's honestly great fun reading this book, and it's serious literature with themes that you only usually get to enjoy until grade 6 or something. Fun stuff. Actually, wait wait wait, it might not be entirely appropriate for children, due to the epic epic womanizing (see also below), which is just king.

Why I said it's not appropriate for children is that it's full of racism, sexism, slavery, and so on, you know, the usual medieval mystery stuff.

FRIENDZONE
[paraphrased]
Rebecca: (who has just healed Ivanhoe of his mortal wounds and also happens to be, only, you know, slightly beautiful. only worth like a page of lauding on Scott's part.) hi, I just healed you lol
Ivanhoe: oh, yeah, well, shot eh. What's your name? (to himself) hey, she's hoooooot!
Rebecca: Rebecca. I'm the son daughter of Isaac of York (he is a Jew)
Ivanhoe: sick, wanna come back to my place and... (realizing she is a Jewess) oh, okay. ... (stops being in any way interested in Rebecca for the rest of the entire story)

He does it, no jokes, in about 5 lines of text. What a champ.

WOMANIZER 101
[also paraphrased]
(Rebecca has been captured, along with all the other peepz like her father, and put in one of the bad guys' castles. The knights who have elaborately disguised themselves as outlaws to achieve these means have even more (read: less) elaborate plans for them, ransoming the rest while this one oke called Brian de Bois-Guilbert wants to take Rebecca as his wife. He's basically given the impression that he wants to rescue her from the castle and then get to know her etc. But it's not like he can just come in and claim from the get-go; otherwise it should be obvious he was working with the outlaws and was part of the plan, so he needs to be rather subtle at this point in time.)
B-G is opening the door
Rebecca: (about to start talking)
B-G: Silence, bitch! If you want to get out you have to marry me!

Awe and respect, gents.

movie time

so, I don't know if I should be telling anyone but we're making an intense climbing movie from the Rocklands trip... Andy and I are editing it, avec assistance à Guy, et nous finish-ons le movie très soon. It will be legit sick, so yeah. And I could also have written that in French but I'm super-parasseux :D

And that's what I'm doing on a rainy day like this one! Also piano, but that's a different story...

Hidden Empire

by Kevin J Anderson

A stunning way to immerse myself back into the land of science-fiction after finishing all my Asimov about 2 years ago :P So I decided to check out a little bit of different stuff, and this was the book that jumped out at me first.

Anderson does a thrilling job of weaving an extremely suspenseful plot together, with bombshells left, right, and center that are not at all far-fetched, not falling into the common trap of making stuff up as he goes along to suit the plot; this guy has his storyline waxed to the core. Deftly switching between the large cast of characters, the action is expertly woven, the reader not knowing how it will end until the final few chapters. In fact, that's what I admire most about his writing style: the intricate plot design and the stunning narrative and reveal rate.

Sans a single protagonist, it follows various stories of various characters, from the Galactic Chancellor to space gypsies to Ildiran aliens. Humanity has unleashed the Klikiss Torch, a weapon with the capability to create suns, and has used it in a trial experiment. However, all is not as it seems, and various tragedies occur around the galaxy, obvious to the reader as consequences of this experiment but the link in no way being clear. More disastrous attacks by an unknown force are instigated as key players in the game attempt to figure out what's actually going on. More discoveries about the long-lost Klikiss civilisation reveal to the reader more and more the complications humanity finds itself in.

One flaw, however, is that this is, true to its name, book 1 of 7. While absolutely splendid as an introduction, it leaves you super-hungry for more, without resolving much in terms of the big picture story. Or maybe I'm just jealous because EB at Cavendish don't have part 2 :D